Hair pulling, eyebrow raising, eye-rolling, and baffled expressions are all symptoms of faulty communication with our boyfriends. As girls, we’ve all experience one of those symptoms at least once in our relationship. The question is, why?
Simple. Communication breakdown.
If you type in “definition of communication,” into Google, this is what you will see:
- The imparting or exchanging of information or news.
- Means of connection between people or places, in particular.
When you’re trying to convey something to your boyfriend, or vice versa, it’s extremely easy for misunderstanding to occur because we’re communicating unsuccessfully and we’re not sure why.
One way or another, it’s easy to say that we know communication is an important element to any successful relationship, and that’s not limited to romantic relationships. That goes for any type. Since everyone knows communication is important, how many of us really know why?
10 Reasons Why Communication is Important
- It conveys our thoughts, feelings, ideas, goals, emotions, and more. This allows both parties to share how they feel about a certain situation. This can range between being annoyed because one person always decides where you’ll eat, all the way to your future goals as a couple.
- It allows for both individuals to safely express themselves. It’s important that we feel as though we’re in a safe space to express our most vulnerable, or even our most trivial thoughts without being judged, or called stupid by our significant other. Good communication allows us to feel comfortable and safe with sharing our inner thoughts and feelings.
- It has the capability to avoid many (pointless) disagreements. It’s easy to brush things off over and over again, and attempt to convince yourself that whatever it may be isn’t that big of a deal, and so it should be ignored. And then, this issue (or one similar to it) arrises yet again, and you find yourself annoyed, yet again. Thus, leading to one giant argument. Communicating right off the bat about whatever it may be, can help avoid MANY pointless arguments. If it drives you nuts that your boyfriend is always on his phone when you’re together, tell him the first few times you notice instead of not saying anything for months, and then eventually exploding.
- It is the key to ensuring you’re both on the same page about important and trivial topics. You can’t expect your boyfriend to know that you’re not ready for whatever the next step is in your relationship, or you are ready for it, unless you communicate that. Proper communication will help you and your boyfriend stay on the same page in regards to your relationship.
- It brings the two of you closer together. This one’s simple, communicating draws you closer to one another. Share the small and the big things.
- It works as a mechanism of understanding one another’s perspectives. You can’t expect yourself, or your boyfriend, to understand each other’s perspectives on a political topic, a religious one, or even elements of relationship morale if you don’t communicate.
- It offers clarity. Simple. Communicating helps all of us understand and clarifies things that were once murky.
- It strengthens your trust levels. Communicating with each other, and sharing vulnerable thoughts and feelings, will build trust in every aspect. Sharing things demonstrates the other person trusts you with knowing their inner being. On the other hand, it may also shed some light that this person may not be all that trustworthy.
- It demonstrates your stance in regards to the relationship. If you feel like as a couple, you guys are going through a rocky road, communicating will convey that and therefore help create a resolution before things continue to go down hill.
- It is the FOUNDATION of your relationship. Communicating is what began your relationship, and it is what will drive your relationship forward.
How to Know if your Communication Levels Need Improvement
- You find you and your significant other fighting or disagreeing about the same issue/topic countless times, but a resolution is never found.
- You often wonder if you both want the same things out of the relationship.
- You find yourself running around in circles/ completely avoiding a specific topic of conversation.
- You have a hard time expressing yourself out of fear of making things uncomfortable between the two of you.
- You feel like your significant other knows little about you/you feel the furthest away from them out of every other person in your life.
- You feel like they only hear you, and not listen. Yes, there’s a difference.
Ways to Improve Communication in Your Relationship
Because it’s a lot easier to identify that we have a communication breakdown in our relationship than it is to actually attempt to improve it, Psychology Today has made an article on 6 effective ways to improve communication.
These 6 factors include:
- Make small talk.
- Don’t only talk about the insignificant experiences, share them.
- Listen carefully.
- Ask questions, and don’t assume you know the answers.
- Talk about yourself, but don’t take all the air.
- Attempt to increase the amount of daily insignificant experiences to share with each other.
With these 6 steps, and the raw emotion you and your partner share, it’s no doubt the communication will get better.
If you have any other suggestions about how to improve you communication skills with your partner, or a story to share, leave a comment below!