One way or another we’ve all come into contact with either our own, or someone else’s toxic relationship.
The toxic relationship can be categorized by a number of tell-alls. Some of them being:
- Controlling each other’s actions
- Constant fighting over small things
- Defending your significant other to people who genuinely care about you (close friends and family) even when you know you shouldn’t
- Breaking up only to get back together without resolving anything
- Trying to break up and your significant other not allowing it
- Those around you tell you you’re no good for each other (with good reason)
- You know your no good for each other but can’t imagine life without the other
- Feeling beaten and broken down by your significant other
- Questioning your own mental state of being
- Potentially losing friends, or feeling the need to keep things from them
Unfortunately the toxic relationship affects more than just the two people in the relationship itself, it consumes those closest to them. It is natural to talk to close friends and family about your relationship, and it’s more than normal to get help from people. However, you will soon begin to see that your confidants lose confidence in you and your ability to make a decision. Or rather to make THE decision.
Toxic relationships are something I have a lot of second hand experience with. Someone extremely close to me has found himself in a number of these– to be more specific, three of them.
You’d imagine that after dealing with it once you’d have more experience moving forward. But once you find yourself in the position it seemingly becomes a downward spiral.
According to Health Scope, there are various types of toxic relationships. Some include:
- The Deprecator-Belittler
- The “Bad Temper” Toxic Partner
- The Guilt Inducer
- The Over-reactor/Deflector
- The Over-Dependent Partner
- The Independent (Not Dependable) Toxic Controller
- The User
- The Possessive (Paranoid) Toxic Controller
Once you realize you are in a toxic relationship, it’s difficult to know if it’s worth salvaging or not.
My personal advice, based off what I’ve witnessed is that it’s almost never worth salvaging or even possible to salvage. There are certain things that once can never take back. It’s tough to move past everything that’s been said and done, and it’s even more difficult to change not only as a person, but as a couple.
Not to say that it’s utterly impossible to salvage a toxic relationship, but the biggest component to remember, is that time a part is NEEDED.
For the most part a break up and then letting go is the best piece of advice on how to handle toxicity. But sometimes people think love is everything, and are willing to sacrifice being treated right. In this case, you need time a part to grow, figure yourselves out, and think about what needs changing and how to create and achieve this necessary change.
What’re your ways of dealing with the toxic relationship?