“Babe I only lied to you about hanging out with her cause I knew you’d be mad.”
“Well yeah Lucas, you know she has feelings for you and she tried breaking us up.”
“She was my best friend before you, and you shouldn’t have made me pick!”
One way or another I’m sure everyone’s at least heard of the boyfriend who manipulates every single situation. You find yourself upset for an extremely valid reason and somehow, two hours later of arguing, you find yourself apologizing to him for something you never did. This type of guy will manipulate you until you’re nothing but weak for him. It may start off with minor things, but a situation like this could be very detrimental to your well being.
Defining the Manipulative Boyfriend
“There are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function.”
― C. JoyBell C.
A good friend of mine, we’ll call her Kayley, dated a guy who manipulated every and any reason she’s ever been upset with him. He had a female friend who he was close to, but she had strong feelings for him. The biggest issue was she would try getting in between their relationship. After lengthy and numerous conversation Kayley and her boyfriend decided it was only fair for him to stop speaking to the girl- distance himself.
Months later he ran into her, sparked up conversation and the cycle began. The lies of him being with her, the disrespect, and the manipulation began. He blamed her for making her pick between the two of them. This is minor in comparison to what this can become. So let’s break it down.
Traits of the Manipulative Boyfriend
- They feed you constant excuses
- They tell nothing but Lies, lies, and lots of lies
- They know how to trigger your emotions, especially your weaknesses and use this against you
- They undermine what you know, so it’s only what you think you know
- They make sure you understand that they’re the ‘dominant’ figure
- They get uncomfortable when they find out you’re talking to someone about your relationship issues
- They try to pull you away from the people closest to you
What to do if you’re with the Manipulator
It’s easy to get stuck in a relationship where all you hear is excuses, and lies and constant blame being put on you. They’ve become so good at flipping the situation to make you feel like everything is your fault you don’t even know what’s right and wrong anymore. Not to fret ladies, there are ways to deal with this.
Beatty Cohan, a psychotherapist, worked with the Daily Mail, to help women cope with being with the emotional manipulator. In the article Are you Dating an Emotional Manipulator, she outlines three steps to help you deal with this. They are as follows:
1- Believe in yourself and fortify your self confidence
2- Nurture your inner calm and remain neutral
3- Work on your communication skills together
Clearly the manipulator is something that is quite scary, so it’s important to evaluate the situation with a clear head. Take note of habits, and occurrences, and keep those who genuinely care for you close by. Manipulation is not an element to finding raw romance.
Have you had experiences with the manipulator, what are they?